Tuesday 18 September 2012
Friday 20 January 2012
Personal pics of my ceaser
If you're not wanting to see some graphic pics and maybe some breastfeeding piccies don't read on. :)
I wanted to share what I looked like after my ceaser and some pics I didn't even know were taken because I was that exhausted. This is what I looked like after a ceaser and my first attempts at breastfeeding Mitchell.
This pic upsets me, as it's a happy moment with my mum meeting her new grandson and with the proud big brothers present. I'm in the background like a lump, connected to drips, wearing a hospital gown and pretty much out of it. I am sad that I didn't get to share in their joy as much as I would have liked.
This next pic is of me breastfeeding Mitchy. I couldnt attach him all that well, I was still connected to oxygen and I just look pretty dreadful.
The not so glamorous shots of me after the surgery and epic labour! lol
I wanted to share what I looked like after my ceaser and some pics I didn't even know were taken because I was that exhausted. This is what I looked like after a ceaser and my first attempts at breastfeeding Mitchell.
This pic upsets me, as it's a happy moment with my mum meeting her new grandson and with the proud big brothers present. I'm in the background like a lump, connected to drips, wearing a hospital gown and pretty much out of it. I am sad that I didn't get to share in their joy as much as I would have liked.
This next pic is of me breastfeeding Mitchy. I couldnt attach him all that well, I was still connected to oxygen and I just look pretty dreadful.
The not so glamorous shots of me after the surgery and epic labour! lol
Thursday 19 January 2012
The aftermath of a c-sec
You hear of women having a c-sec like it's an easy thing, they rock up to hospy at their designated time, baby is delivered, piccies taken in scrubs with proud fathers and mothers who can't hardly see or hold their baby. Then they are out of hospital within a matter of days (after major abdominal surgery) and then expected to care for a newborn, breastfeed, rest and recover. I never knew how damaging a ceasarian could be, until I had one. I know have a much greater appreciation for women who have had to endure a ceasarian for whatever reason the ended up having to have one. I'm not sure why they label ceasers are too posh to push, cause hell i'd take pushing my baby out ANY day over a ceasarian.
The first thing was not being able to see my son for the first few hours of his life. And when I did meet him, we were both being wheeled from different ends of the hospital and we met in the corridor, him in a box and me on a trolley bed unable to move. I peeked at him and he was so chubby and cute and thankfully not crying. I was very blessed my midwife was able to stay in recovery with my husband and baby and she took some truly beautiful photos of my son's first moments into the world, that I will forever be grateful for as it was time I did not get to spend with him. She told Milo to take his shirt off so they could have immediate skin to skin, the pictures she took are priceless, Milo and Mitchell just staring at eachother, very much knowing and loving eachother from the start.
Then we were wheeled into our room, I was delighted Mitchell was here safely, but was not in any real alert state, I was exhausted from the intense labour and then the ceasarian and then the drugs I was on. I just wanted to sleep sleep sleep. Visitors came and went during visiting hours but mostly I was by myself. The kids loved Mitchell straight away which was wonderful and I liked having people there to hold him and change him if needed, I was barely able to hold him let alone breastfeed properly. Again, I just wanted to sleep. The first night I'd had no sleep at all, the drugs were making me hyper alert but also totally exhausted, but I wasn't able to switch off and sleep, plus you get nurses coming into check through the night etc, so it makes for a very uncomfortable way to bond with your baby and just be rested.
It was hard telling the kids I can't pick them up, I had to sit down so that they could give me a hug, they were also brilliant at being my little helpers where they could and they would pick stuff up for me and they were really pretty good with the whole thing which i'm very fortunate. I really hate how the ceasarian made what was supposed to be a happy time made it all the more stressful and traumatic. Everyone in my family relies on me, i'm the only one that can drive, take Josh to school, make dinner, organise schedules and all the other bits and pieces that us mothers and women do. I didn't realise how much my family NEED me when I wasn't able to be there for them and it still makes me upset that I wasn't able to do anything for them. I felt helpless, irritated and quite upset about it, but I knew at the end of the day, there wasn't anything I could do to change it.
The first thing was not being able to see my son for the first few hours of his life. And when I did meet him, we were both being wheeled from different ends of the hospital and we met in the corridor, him in a box and me on a trolley bed unable to move. I peeked at him and he was so chubby and cute and thankfully not crying. I was very blessed my midwife was able to stay in recovery with my husband and baby and she took some truly beautiful photos of my son's first moments into the world, that I will forever be grateful for as it was time I did not get to spend with him. She told Milo to take his shirt off so they could have immediate skin to skin, the pictures she took are priceless, Milo and Mitchell just staring at eachother, very much knowing and loving eachother from the start.
Then we were wheeled into our room, I was delighted Mitchell was here safely, but was not in any real alert state, I was exhausted from the intense labour and then the ceasarian and then the drugs I was on. I just wanted to sleep sleep sleep. Visitors came and went during visiting hours but mostly I was by myself. The kids loved Mitchell straight away which was wonderful and I liked having people there to hold him and change him if needed, I was barely able to hold him let alone breastfeed properly. Again, I just wanted to sleep. The first night I'd had no sleep at all, the drugs were making me hyper alert but also totally exhausted, but I wasn't able to switch off and sleep, plus you get nurses coming into check through the night etc, so it makes for a very uncomfortable way to bond with your baby and just be rested.
Recovering from a ceasarian is definately a lot different to when you have your child naturally. Everything is an effort, getting into bed, not being able to lay flat to go to sleep, not having the energy to get back up. Showering is difficult, dressing yourself is difficult, you're basically only just functioning. It was very intense. My husband has a brain injury and short term memory problems, I had no support from him after all he'd been there seeing me, watching me go through what I did, he had absolutely no concept of how much it impacted me and how I could not do ANY THING! The first day we were home it was a nightmare, I was in so much pain, I had many tears and many angry outburts. Thankfully my friends rallied around and sorted out a schedule for me where they basically filled in for me, once that was happening things got better, I was getting regular meals dropped off, people taking my son to school and picking him up for me, helping hold Mitchell while I showered, fed my kids for me, etc etc. They really were a godsend. Milo wasn't much help unfortunately, he tried but it was just super frustrating. One day he took 2 hours to clean up the kitchen for lunch, then I asked him to start dinner which was simply spaghetti bolognaise, and it took another 4 hours till we sat down to eat, I was starving, grumpy and feeling incredibly frustrated. Thankfully again my friends came to the rescue and sorted things out as best they could around their own familes and committments which i'm forever grateful for. I was ordered to rest as i was trying to do too much and ended up in extreme pain, I didn't really realise how full on a ceasarian was so was just trying to maintain my normal activities which was not a good idea.
It was hard telling the kids I can't pick them up, I had to sit down so that they could give me a hug, they were also brilliant at being my little helpers where they could and they would pick stuff up for me and they were really pretty good with the whole thing which i'm very fortunate. I really hate how the ceasarian made what was supposed to be a happy time made it all the more stressful and traumatic. Everyone in my family relies on me, i'm the only one that can drive, take Josh to school, make dinner, organise schedules and all the other bits and pieces that us mothers and women do. I didn't realise how much my family NEED me when I wasn't able to be there for them and it still makes me upset that I wasn't able to do anything for them. I felt helpless, irritated and quite upset about it, but I knew at the end of the day, there wasn't anything I could do to change it.
While at the hospital the doctor who was discharging me commented that Mitchell had got stuck, it was considered an obstructed labour, and his head was also deflex which means the largest part of his head was presenting. So after hearing that, I knew I did the right thing by transferring, I knew that the ceasarian was necessary to get him out safely. I just did not know how much the ceasarian would impact my life, when I was trying to care for a newborn, deal with a husband who had no insight into any of it and then two other children who didn't really understand why mummy couldn't take them to the park, to the shops etc, because if their own father didn't get it, how could they?
Thankfully the first few weeks have past and we are managing as a family of 5 now, but it's really upsetting that I didn't get the birth I wanted because I didn't want to have to rely on others, I wasn't supported by my husband the way I needed to, but there are obvious positives, I have a beautiful new son, my older two are undeniably in love with their new brother, my friendships that i'm forever grateful for their support during those difficult times. And I learned that I am strong, I am needed, and that I bloody well do a great job! I have learned a lot and despite the fact i'll always mourn the birth I never got with my Mitchy Moo, I adore him so much and he's brought me so much happiness I am thankful and very blessed.
My 3rd Pregnancy Journey
The decision to welcome another child into our home and heart was pretty simple. I had completed my univeristy degree in 2010, we had 2 family weddings that year that I didn't want to be pregnant for, and I was also an egg donor and I wanted to be sure that she was pregnant and the pregnancy was progressing successfully. So in 2011 we decided that we'd add to our family. As we announced to some of our friends that we were going to start trying, we didn't already know at the time but Mitchell had already made his little way into my womb. I was quite surprised and shocked that it happened first time trying, we pretty much had good odds 3 kids concieved first month trying, so I felt very very fortunate. It took me some time to get my head around having 3 kids, and I didn't feel as prepared as I would have liked. I had concerns over my care this time, whether i'd homebirth again, or go to hospital. It turned out I did a combination of both which I was happy with. I also opted to have 3 scans this time, the nuchal, the morphology scan, and then they did another one later on for growth as Mitchy was put at 5 weeks over or something ridiculous. Turns out he was spot on, just bigger than average.
Generally my pregnancy cruised through, it was very stressful on my relationship with my husband, and I wasn't as supported as I wanted or needed. We ended up seeing a neuropsych for him due to his brain injury and he just wasn't coping with everything, it did help and things were much more bearable for the remainder of the pregnancy.
Around the 8th month I had a blessingway which was just so wonderful and beautiful organised by some of my wonderful friends who I dearly treasure. This was so important as it really supported me emotionally which I needed at the time, and it extended beyond my pregnancy to the first few weeks which I couldn't have made without these beautiful people in my life.
I had a fair amount of anxiety this pregnancy, thinking that there'd be a spanner in the works somewhere, something would just not go the way I envisioned, but I didn't think it would turn out the way it did. My biggest fears were birthing rapidly and with no support people around me, and then the other fear was having a prolonged labour, cord issues and baby getting stuck. My desire to homebirth and have a waterbirth this time was very much what i'd hoped and longed for after having a traumatic hospital delivery with my first and a homebirth with my second, I knew that I had birthed before, I should have no issues.
The last few weeks were quite tiresome, I had some unexpected false starts which I thought was labour at about 38 weeks but it all petered out and I woke up still pregnant. I was willing my body to give me some indication that labour was in fact happening. Ringing my twin sister to determine whether I was in labour didn't help this time around as I was just a bit all over the shop. I continued with my normal activities taking my oldest to school, caring for my second child and just going through the motions while heavily pregnant. I reached my 40th week and then thought, ok anytime now little buddy as i'd never gone before 40 weeks, I thought I wouldn't have to wait too much longer. Got to the 41st week which is where I went into labour with my 2nd and that came and went too. By the time I got to 41+3 I was starting to get a bit anxious as I was booked into the hospital they would be wanting to induce around that time and that was something I was not comfortable with. After consulting with both my midwives I agreed to an internal and a stretch and sweep. I'm generally not a fan of any intervention as baby will come when baby is ready. But being my 3rd pregnancy I was a bit concerned as to why I was having a lot of pre-labour but nothing progressing. That day I also went and got reflexology and was also getting twice weekly visits to the chiro to make sure my pelvis was correctly aligned. I let my midwives know I was having tightenings but it was all bearable and nothing regular, but one of them lived an hour away and rather than her driving down through the night we decided it might be best if she stayed close by at the other midwives house. Nothing happened through the night much to my frustration I was still pregnant on Wednesday but having irregular tightenings. By that Wed afternoon my midwife had gone back to her home and I was reluctant to call her again incase of another false alarm. I did give my good friend a heads up that I think it was starting to get more regular, as in the last few weeks of my pregnancy I offered for her to be a part of my birth space and that i'd love to have her share my birth with me.
So Sarah arrived about 4pm that afternoon and I had the birth pool all ready blown up, we then noticed the pool kept deflating, so we had to patch it up with sticky tape which was all we had on hand. I was just pottering around, the kids were jumping in and out of the birth pool and were very excited that their little brother Mitchell would arrive soon. I'm pretty sure I organised dinner, played out in the yard with Cameron and swung him on the swing, all while getting some fairly regular contractions. I was just enjoying them and didn't want to rest cause I didn't want things to stall. Sometime in the evening both my midwives arrived we were in the process of filling up the birth pool and I was getting antsy as we didn't realise how much longer it would take trying to fill the birth pool from the shower recess. The kids thought it was great and they were spashing their hands in it and then they were blowing up balloons and then racing them across the water and squirted me and my midwife in the face, while it was kinda funny it was definately getting a bit distracting. I remember Sarah in the background lighting candles and just being such a gem with the kids. They decided to set the kids up on the fold out sofa as I was in the main room (where they sleep with me) and try and settle them for the night which was exciting as i thought once they are in bed, things will start to ramp up and i'll be able to focus properly on birthing Mitchell.
Once they were settled which I didn't realise was about 11pm, I was definately starting to get more intense contractions. I remember my pain coping techniques from last time, and was just blissfully unaware of everything and everyone. Around 2am my beautiful friend Sarah had to leave and I acknowledged that she was leaving, but was very much in labour land. I was sad she had to leave and miss the birth, but so grateful she was there to be an extra pair of hands. The next few hours I knew it would be daylight soon and I was wondering why it was taking so long, I was getting intense pushing urges so I just went with them as gently as I could. I remember him doing a corkscrew type movement while I was trying to hold the urges to push, and I was saying, he's moving, he's moving! I wasn't wanting him to flip because up till that point I was pretty sure he was in a good position. So this kinda put me off a bit and then I hit a wall. I wasn't liking being in the pool anymore, was trying to see if gravity would help as I couldn't feel him descend even though I had been having pushing urges for a few hours. I got up and walked around for a while, sat on the toilet for a while, kept saying open and out, open and out, come on buddy. I remember punching myself in the leg when i'd get a massive contraction to distract myself from the pain. I kept having a lot of show when I was on the toilet which bugged me as it was messy, so i'd wipe, wash my hands, contract, wipe, wash my hands, contact, so I ordered my husband, and say, here you do it! lol So I made him clean me up, he didn't object as he saw how much pain I was in. When he was there I didn't want him to leave my side, I would grip his arm so hard I thought I would break it. I also ordered him to rub my back as the pain was so intense, but then i'd get the shits cause his hands are like sandpaper and were too rough for my liking. I remember standing in the ensuite doorway knewing that i'd been in hard labour for a while and working my way though it, i was starting to get a bit distressed and asking my midwives, why is it taking so long, somethings not right, he should be out by now. My second had his cord around his neck and when he descended he went back up, but the midwife at the time moved it and it was ok, the cord was flat though. This time I couldn't even feel him in the birth canal and was starting to wonder why. I asked my midwife to do another check and I was around 9cm but my waters hadn't broken, I asked her to break my waters as i thought he'd then descend and we could get him out. When she broke my waters I was worried about a huge gush going all over the bathroom and carpet, but there was hardly any waters left and they looked sludgy to me. Knowing he was a 42 weeker by that stage, meconium in the waters wasn't a surprise and generally not something to transfer for. But I started to add things up thinking well i've been in labour for a while, it's been pretty sporadic leading up to this, he's 42 weeks, there's meconium in the waters and i'd been having pushing urges for about 3 hours, I thought, somethings not right I think we better head into hospital.
So we decided to transfer, basically when I left my home I knew that Mitchell was not going to be born naturally, if I felt he was going to come out, i'd have stayed at home as transferring was definately not in my birth plan, I hadn't even considered it. The ride to hospital was completely unbearable my bearing down contractions were severe, I was trying so hard to breathe and just get through it. That 30 min ride seemed to take forever. Once we got to the hospital, my midwife got me a wheelchair as there was no way I could walk. I basically held on tight to my husband and was wheeled up into the delivery suites. I remember being asked to hop on the bed straight away, got an internal where they found I was about 9cms and had a cervical lip which they couldn't budge, I wasn't interested in birthing him anymore, I just said, knock me out and get him out! But the midwife couldn't make the call, eventually a doctor was brought in who was briefed by my midwife and then did her checks on my and agreed to the c-sec. I was given gas at this stage which helped a bit, but it just made me dizzy and nauseous, my husband was not to leave my side and I was gripping him for dear life, the contractions made my whole body contract I felt like I was climbing the walls and there was no relief in sight. I wished that they'd hurry up, put me under and just get things over with.
Finally they were wheeling me into theartre where I expressed several times, I don't want an epidural, just knock me out, but it was ignored. I remember my husband being in there and I was gripping his hand again, but again I got the shits cause his hands were like sandpaper, so after my protests they gave him some gloves to wear so I could grab onto him. They were trying to administer the epidural but my contractions were non stop, the doctor then says i'm sorry we're going to have to give you a general, mid contractions I just yelled, good, knock me out and get him out, he's not coming out!! At that time I think I had to sign paperwork and my husband was then ushered out of the thearte, which was lucky as pretty much after he left I vomitted all over the orderly and some stuff from the gas making me feel sick. I kept apologising I felt terrible but they were all really good about it.
By this time I was in hospital for 2 hours contracting immensely with only gas, this was by far the worst labour of my 3, and the first 2 weren't exactly a walk in the park. I remember they were then prepping me for the gas, I had a mask on my face and then the ob pops her head in and says, I just need to check your dilation one more time and I was still stuck at 9cm. Around this time they took the gas off me and put a mask over my face, I closed my eyes and was grateful it would all be over soon, about fucking time I thought!
So at 7:30ish in the morning Mitchell Ryan made his entrance to the world and I wasn't to meet him till about 10am that morning. He was quite the talk of the ward as he was the biggest baby there at the time and he'd had a little visit to the special care nursery where they are all little bubbas and here is my little sumo baby! He was a good 10pd3 and very very healthy. I was pretty dosed up on morphine and couldn't move at all due to the ceaser. But I was incredibly happy that my little man was finally here despite the dramatic entrance. I also suffered a PPH and lost a fair amount of blood. My iron levels were super low and they were monitoring Mitchell for his blood sugar levels as he was such a big baby. All was fine, though I was very close to having to have a blood transfusion.
Generally my pregnancy cruised through, it was very stressful on my relationship with my husband, and I wasn't as supported as I wanted or needed. We ended up seeing a neuropsych for him due to his brain injury and he just wasn't coping with everything, it did help and things were much more bearable for the remainder of the pregnancy.
Around the 8th month I had a blessingway which was just so wonderful and beautiful organised by some of my wonderful friends who I dearly treasure. This was so important as it really supported me emotionally which I needed at the time, and it extended beyond my pregnancy to the first few weeks which I couldn't have made without these beautiful people in my life.
I had a fair amount of anxiety this pregnancy, thinking that there'd be a spanner in the works somewhere, something would just not go the way I envisioned, but I didn't think it would turn out the way it did. My biggest fears were birthing rapidly and with no support people around me, and then the other fear was having a prolonged labour, cord issues and baby getting stuck. My desire to homebirth and have a waterbirth this time was very much what i'd hoped and longed for after having a traumatic hospital delivery with my first and a homebirth with my second, I knew that I had birthed before, I should have no issues.
The last few weeks were quite tiresome, I had some unexpected false starts which I thought was labour at about 38 weeks but it all petered out and I woke up still pregnant. I was willing my body to give me some indication that labour was in fact happening. Ringing my twin sister to determine whether I was in labour didn't help this time around as I was just a bit all over the shop. I continued with my normal activities taking my oldest to school, caring for my second child and just going through the motions while heavily pregnant. I reached my 40th week and then thought, ok anytime now little buddy as i'd never gone before 40 weeks, I thought I wouldn't have to wait too much longer. Got to the 41st week which is where I went into labour with my 2nd and that came and went too. By the time I got to 41+3 I was starting to get a bit anxious as I was booked into the hospital they would be wanting to induce around that time and that was something I was not comfortable with. After consulting with both my midwives I agreed to an internal and a stretch and sweep. I'm generally not a fan of any intervention as baby will come when baby is ready. But being my 3rd pregnancy I was a bit concerned as to why I was having a lot of pre-labour but nothing progressing. That day I also went and got reflexology and was also getting twice weekly visits to the chiro to make sure my pelvis was correctly aligned. I let my midwives know I was having tightenings but it was all bearable and nothing regular, but one of them lived an hour away and rather than her driving down through the night we decided it might be best if she stayed close by at the other midwives house. Nothing happened through the night much to my frustration I was still pregnant on Wednesday but having irregular tightenings. By that Wed afternoon my midwife had gone back to her home and I was reluctant to call her again incase of another false alarm. I did give my good friend a heads up that I think it was starting to get more regular, as in the last few weeks of my pregnancy I offered for her to be a part of my birth space and that i'd love to have her share my birth with me.
So Sarah arrived about 4pm that afternoon and I had the birth pool all ready blown up, we then noticed the pool kept deflating, so we had to patch it up with sticky tape which was all we had on hand. I was just pottering around, the kids were jumping in and out of the birth pool and were very excited that their little brother Mitchell would arrive soon. I'm pretty sure I organised dinner, played out in the yard with Cameron and swung him on the swing, all while getting some fairly regular contractions. I was just enjoying them and didn't want to rest cause I didn't want things to stall. Sometime in the evening both my midwives arrived we were in the process of filling up the birth pool and I was getting antsy as we didn't realise how much longer it would take trying to fill the birth pool from the shower recess. The kids thought it was great and they were spashing their hands in it and then they were blowing up balloons and then racing them across the water and squirted me and my midwife in the face, while it was kinda funny it was definately getting a bit distracting. I remember Sarah in the background lighting candles and just being such a gem with the kids. They decided to set the kids up on the fold out sofa as I was in the main room (where they sleep with me) and try and settle them for the night which was exciting as i thought once they are in bed, things will start to ramp up and i'll be able to focus properly on birthing Mitchell.
Once they were settled which I didn't realise was about 11pm, I was definately starting to get more intense contractions. I remember my pain coping techniques from last time, and was just blissfully unaware of everything and everyone. Around 2am my beautiful friend Sarah had to leave and I acknowledged that she was leaving, but was very much in labour land. I was sad she had to leave and miss the birth, but so grateful she was there to be an extra pair of hands. The next few hours I knew it would be daylight soon and I was wondering why it was taking so long, I was getting intense pushing urges so I just went with them as gently as I could. I remember him doing a corkscrew type movement while I was trying to hold the urges to push, and I was saying, he's moving, he's moving! I wasn't wanting him to flip because up till that point I was pretty sure he was in a good position. So this kinda put me off a bit and then I hit a wall. I wasn't liking being in the pool anymore, was trying to see if gravity would help as I couldn't feel him descend even though I had been having pushing urges for a few hours. I got up and walked around for a while, sat on the toilet for a while, kept saying open and out, open and out, come on buddy. I remember punching myself in the leg when i'd get a massive contraction to distract myself from the pain. I kept having a lot of show when I was on the toilet which bugged me as it was messy, so i'd wipe, wash my hands, contract, wipe, wash my hands, contact, so I ordered my husband, and say, here you do it! lol So I made him clean me up, he didn't object as he saw how much pain I was in. When he was there I didn't want him to leave my side, I would grip his arm so hard I thought I would break it. I also ordered him to rub my back as the pain was so intense, but then i'd get the shits cause his hands are like sandpaper and were too rough for my liking. I remember standing in the ensuite doorway knewing that i'd been in hard labour for a while and working my way though it, i was starting to get a bit distressed and asking my midwives, why is it taking so long, somethings not right, he should be out by now. My second had his cord around his neck and when he descended he went back up, but the midwife at the time moved it and it was ok, the cord was flat though. This time I couldn't even feel him in the birth canal and was starting to wonder why. I asked my midwife to do another check and I was around 9cm but my waters hadn't broken, I asked her to break my waters as i thought he'd then descend and we could get him out. When she broke my waters I was worried about a huge gush going all over the bathroom and carpet, but there was hardly any waters left and they looked sludgy to me. Knowing he was a 42 weeker by that stage, meconium in the waters wasn't a surprise and generally not something to transfer for. But I started to add things up thinking well i've been in labour for a while, it's been pretty sporadic leading up to this, he's 42 weeks, there's meconium in the waters and i'd been having pushing urges for about 3 hours, I thought, somethings not right I think we better head into hospital.
So we decided to transfer, basically when I left my home I knew that Mitchell was not going to be born naturally, if I felt he was going to come out, i'd have stayed at home as transferring was definately not in my birth plan, I hadn't even considered it. The ride to hospital was completely unbearable my bearing down contractions were severe, I was trying so hard to breathe and just get through it. That 30 min ride seemed to take forever. Once we got to the hospital, my midwife got me a wheelchair as there was no way I could walk. I basically held on tight to my husband and was wheeled up into the delivery suites. I remember being asked to hop on the bed straight away, got an internal where they found I was about 9cms and had a cervical lip which they couldn't budge, I wasn't interested in birthing him anymore, I just said, knock me out and get him out! But the midwife couldn't make the call, eventually a doctor was brought in who was briefed by my midwife and then did her checks on my and agreed to the c-sec. I was given gas at this stage which helped a bit, but it just made me dizzy and nauseous, my husband was not to leave my side and I was gripping him for dear life, the contractions made my whole body contract I felt like I was climbing the walls and there was no relief in sight. I wished that they'd hurry up, put me under and just get things over with.
Finally they were wheeling me into theartre where I expressed several times, I don't want an epidural, just knock me out, but it was ignored. I remember my husband being in there and I was gripping his hand again, but again I got the shits cause his hands were like sandpaper, so after my protests they gave him some gloves to wear so I could grab onto him. They were trying to administer the epidural but my contractions were non stop, the doctor then says i'm sorry we're going to have to give you a general, mid contractions I just yelled, good, knock me out and get him out, he's not coming out!! At that time I think I had to sign paperwork and my husband was then ushered out of the thearte, which was lucky as pretty much after he left I vomitted all over the orderly and some stuff from the gas making me feel sick. I kept apologising I felt terrible but they were all really good about it.
By this time I was in hospital for 2 hours contracting immensely with only gas, this was by far the worst labour of my 3, and the first 2 weren't exactly a walk in the park. I remember they were then prepping me for the gas, I had a mask on my face and then the ob pops her head in and says, I just need to check your dilation one more time and I was still stuck at 9cm. Around this time they took the gas off me and put a mask over my face, I closed my eyes and was grateful it would all be over soon, about fucking time I thought!
So at 7:30ish in the morning Mitchell Ryan made his entrance to the world and I wasn't to meet him till about 10am that morning. He was quite the talk of the ward as he was the biggest baby there at the time and he'd had a little visit to the special care nursery where they are all little bubbas and here is my little sumo baby! He was a good 10pd3 and very very healthy. I was pretty dosed up on morphine and couldn't move at all due to the ceaser. But I was incredibly happy that my little man was finally here despite the dramatic entrance. I also suffered a PPH and lost a fair amount of blood. My iron levels were super low and they were monitoring Mitchell for his blood sugar levels as he was such a big baby. All was fine, though I was very close to having to have a blood transfusion.
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